1) I am very possessive of my work. If someone evinces more than usual interest in my work I feel suspicious like they are up to something. I think a thousand meaningless senseless questions. “Why did she say that????” “What he meant by that?”
2) Paradoxically I am very attention craving (its true). I want people to read what I write and like it .I want them to extol me and actually be interested not superficial comments like “it’s nice/good”. I always standing on head of my friends when I make them read my poems just 2 be sure they read.
3) I always felt that blogging is for those kinds of people who just can’t express their feelings in presence of others; they need a fake face of computer to be themselves (in short losers).
4) I am a bit of a coward I admit, I didn’t join blog for a long time because I was scared what will acquaintances (not real friends) say about me. In college and in newly joined office somehow my image is tomboyish. If I write some sentimental stuff and they read it….I will be as good as dead.
5) Also I am not very tech-savvy. Apart from playing games and listening to music I don’t use my laptop at all. (it’s pretty heavy and listening to music is “tad” too interesting)
6) My mom read my personal diary when I was in third year of my graduation and from that day I swore to God that I would never ever write again in my life.(needless to say at home loads of questions were raised and loads of excuses were generated for my profound behavior cavalier attitude)
7) Well I think most of the people will agree with me that writing in MS-Word is not very romantic. I am not calligrapher but even the thought of writing with a “mont blanc” pen(nor do I own a mont blanc) on a handmade paper is beautiful enough for me to detest punching black keys.
8) I know so many people who flaunt their blogs and their writing is not the best I have read. It feels like blog is a common pair of jeans that all of the toms, dicks and harrys are wearing.
It made (makes) me feel like am the unimportant spec in the universe.
9) Who doesn’t love money? But money and writing (something so serene) in the same sentence is ugly unwanted and insalubrious potpourri. (I am not saying it’s demeaning to earn money or writing or both it just doesn’t gel well for me.)
10) Being on net for so long and thinking and writing and surfing and all sorts of stuff consumes too much of time and money (my internet plan is not unlimited and my pocket money is limited). Just doesn’t feel worth it.
If someone asks me now how do I feel about blogging, I would say “it’s complicated”
Lol...I didn't know THIS much about your reasons for having stayed away from blogging for long!
ReplyDeleteBut i like you honesty, esp where you wrote about you cavalier attitude.
But i just dont agree with the fact that blogging is for those who just can't express in public...sometimes,penning your emotions to vent out the bottled up emotions is a great relief.
what a simple way of saying how complicated you are... :)
ReplyDeletei loved this blog of yours.....bcoz it was connected 2 u....nthin fictional/...i love things which r real
ReplyDeletehmm.. i share almost th same views :P
ReplyDeletetht's y i stay away.. :P